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It’s that time of year again when regardless of whether you celebrate, enjoy, participate
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or even care about Christmas you’re constantly inundated with painfully cheery, sappy and repetitive Holiday music,
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everything from the Bing Crosby classics to the latest pop star’s rendition of jingle bells.
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Every store you go into, every mall you enter, and all over our television screens and radios
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these songs are stuck on repeat for a solid month, if not more!
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Those of us who happen to live in the West, probably know all the words by heart and find ourselves unintentionally singing along.
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But have you ever really paid attention to what’s going on in these lyrics?
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Some of the messages are just down right creepy
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and they’re passed off as holiday cheer
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with hardly a comment year after year.
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Here is my list of the top 5 creepiest and sexist Holiday songs.
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At number 5 All I want for Christmas Is You
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“Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you”
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While it might sound like an old time classic,
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it’s actually a contemporary Holiday song, produced for Mariah Carey in the 1990′s.
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On the surface it may seem cute and romantic but there’s a nasty little message embedded in the lyrics.
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It’s the tired old, all women need is a man myth.
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We see this disturbing message embedded in Hollywood movies,
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especially in romantic comedies where it essentially serves as the back bone of the entire genre.
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In these stories we’re taught that women’s primary goal in life is to find Mr Right
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and without him, apparently our lives are all unfulfilled, boring and meaningless.
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“I just want you for my own, More than you could ever know, Make my wish come true, All I want for Christmas is you”
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With lyrics like: “I just want you for my very own, More than you could ever know
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Make my wish come true, All I want for Christmas is you”
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the singer expresses no desire, needs or interests in anything other then being gifted a man for Christmas.
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While most covers of this song are done by women such as Shania Twain, Miley Cyrus, and Mercedes from Glee,
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it’s not any less creepy when a man sings it because the lyrics could be interpreted as bordering on stalker territory.
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Here are some other things that you might want for christmas in addition to romance:
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quality time with friends and family,
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days off for relaxation,
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good homemade food,
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or an 11 inch, cast zinc, life size, replica of Buffy’s Slayer Scythe complete with authentic ostrich skin wrapped hand crafted wooden handle…
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...just an idea.
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And at number 4 is I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
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“I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, underneath the mistletoe last night”
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This song was commissioned by Saks Fifth Avenue in 1952 to sell their annual Christmas Card and was originally recorded by Jimmy Boyd.
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It’s still a widely popular holiday song, covered by a variety of musicians
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from Amy Winehouse, The Jackson Five to Reba McEntire.
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The song starts with “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night,”
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and then it goes on to say “I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white.”
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The story is about someone’s mom whose cheating on her husband with Santa Claus
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and the poor kid has to watch the whole thing,
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or in the best case scenario it’s his dad dressed up as Santa Claus,
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but either way… bleh.
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Number 3, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
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“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go, take a look in the five and ten”
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This Christmas favourite was popularized by Perry Como and Bing Crosby back in 1951.
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And while they sing about candy canes and silver lanes,
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they also celebrate and reinforce harmful gendered stereotypes in children’s toys.
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“A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots, Is the wish of Barney and Ben. Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk, Is the hope of Janice and Jen.”
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