00:00:16
[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING]
00:00:23
GOON: If it weren't
Turtle what done
00:00:25
it, who was it, then?
00:00:26
FRANKY: It was McFadden.
00:00:27
You could tell by
his wangdoodle.
00:00:33
GOON: What the hell is this?
00:00:51
VAMPIRE: My vampire clan and I
decided to spend this lovely
00:00:54
afternoon playing an
exhilarating game of baseball.
00:01:04
GOON: I don't know even
where to begin.
00:01:06
So I think I'll just start
punching the lot of you.
00:01:09
Think not that we
are powerless.
00:01:11
Let's give it to them, fellas.
00:01:19
GOON: You've got to be [BLEEP]
00:01:21
Give me that bat, you
fruity [BLEEP].
00:01:23
NARRATOR: And Goon did lay upon
them a mighty beating
00:01:26
that was heralded through
the ages for its
00:01:28
ferocity and magnitude.
00:01:31
Henceforth, that day was known
as St. McClubbin's Day, when
00:01:34
the people, after consuming
large quantities of cake and
00:01:38
beer, would take to the streets
with stone and brick
00:01:40
to smash the faces of those
deemed too pretty and too
00:01:44
stupid for their own good.
00:01:47
GOON: Look, people, I know you
probably want 22 pages of me
00:01:50
making smart-ass remarks about
sparkly vampires and beating
00:01:54
the snot out them, but
it's too easy.
00:01:57
VAMPIRE: How could you?
00:01:59
Look at these abs!
00:02:05
GOON: Frankly, basting these
sissies in the chops is a
00:02:07
waste of my freaking time.
00:02:09
I could get a more rewarding
fight out of that granny.
00:02:12
GRANNY: Oh, I'm way more man
than those twinkly [BLEEP].
00:02:18
[MUSIC - DELIBES, LAST
NOTES OF "THE
00:02:18
FLOWER DUET" FROM "LAKME"]
00:02:21
GOON: But what we are gonna do
is spend this issue getting to
00:02:25
the real root of the problem.
00:02:26
FRANKY: That's right.
00:02:28
Evil like this wouldn't exist
if it wasn't for one thing--
00:02:48
POLICE OFFICER: We got a
kid here to drop off.
00:02:53
MCGREG: Another sow to feed.
00:02:56
Worthless animals.
00:02:59
POLICE OFFICER: Uh, yeah.
00:03:00
Just sign the paper.
00:03:05
POLICE OFFICER: Should
we have warned her?
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