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Dark Horse Comics: A Goon Christmas (pt. 2)

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FRANKY: It says here I'm supposed to take you back into
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the past and show you your wasted youth.
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Screw that crap!
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I've got things to do.
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You've got to be kidding me.
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You turned down this?
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SCROOGE: She was a dowry-less girl who would have brought
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nothing to the marriage.
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FRANKY: Knuckle up, you old fart.
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A man that throws aside a looker like that for a few
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bucks needs his clock cleaned.
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SCROOGE: Oh!
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[SOUNDS OF A FIGHT]
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NARRATOR: Scrooge awoke in his own bedroom.
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There was no doubt about that.
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SCROOGE: That Greek dwarf pummelled me.
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NARRATOR: In easy state upon his couch sat a jolly giant,
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glorious to see, who bore a glowing torch.
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THE GOON: Come in, come in and know me better, you
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penny-pinching mutt.
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I am Ghost of Christmas Present, look upon me.
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SCROOGE: Conduct me where you will tonight.
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If you have aught to teach me, let me profit by it.
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Just don't beat me.
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THE GOON: Touch my robe.
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SCROOGE: Where are we, spirit?
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THE GOON: This is the home of your clerk, the one you pay in
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rancid meat.
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SCROOGE: It's good enough for the likes of him.
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THE GOON: Don't sass me, boy.
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Now, get in that house.
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Oh, what's the matter?
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Can't go through walls like a ghost?
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What's that like, slapping your face up against a brick
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wall like that?
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I wouldn't know, seeing as how I'm a ghost.
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GIRL: Oh, mother, why don't we have a Christmas goose?
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MOTHER: Your father spent all his wages on gin again, dear.
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TINY TIM: [INCOHERENT MUMBLING]
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BOY: Quiet, Tiny Tim, you'll wake father.
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TINY TIM: [INCOHERENT MUMBLING]
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THE GOON: Look at that poor, filth-covered simpleton.
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He ought to be in some kind of home being neglected, not here
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being a burden on these poor people.
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Why ain't you putting that boy in a home?
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FATHER: What the hell's all the racket?
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MOTHER: Quickly, children, fetch father more gin.
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THE GOON: And poverty turned that man
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into an abusive drunk.
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FATHER: Come here, Tim, you're the only one
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